Saturday, May 7, 2011

This was Emily in her outfit going home that Daddy got her. 

We got home about 10PM est last night. We probably would have been out of the hospital earlier than that, but we had a very unorganized discharge.  However, we had a really great nurse, Diana, it was our first time having her over on Central, but she was great and took care of us. And even made sure that we had everything that we needed, which was great and very much appreciated.

Emily had her counts checked Friday morning, which was before her last bit of cisplatin (last day of chemo) was given and her hemoglobin was 7.6 which is relatively low, Platelets were good and WBC was 2.7.   Emily slept most of the day Friday, so as the day went on, I started thinking she needs to get blood before we go home, or it is going to be horribly low on Monday. I asked Doug what he thought and he agreed, so we got the doctor to agree also.  It just made sense, so that we were not worried about this over the weekend and not driving to the ER and sitting in ER forever.  

Emily did get sick a couple of times yesterday at the hospital and also on the way home.  After getting home, changing the sheets, getting the fluids started, everyone eating dinner at almost 11PM at night, we got everyone to bed.  Emily still hasn't had any energy, daddy took a picture of her last night (right before time to go home) and she looked great, but wasn't feeling great.  She has also gotten sick a couple of times today and basically just laid around.  I hate to see her just laying around because that is not Emily.  It tares me up and I can't stand what this chemo is doing to her.  

This morning, I was going to get up earlier and head to Trader Joes and Whole Foods, but going to bed at 2AM, Daddy and I spending some time together just talking,  to get groceries it didn't happen.  I did wake up...but laid in the bed, I looked at Brianna, I looked at Emily, got up and checked on Jessie and then went back and laid down and looked at the Brianna and then Emily again and asked myself, "WHY?"  I just wanted to know why?  Some pictures popped up on my facebook of Emily when she had hair and everything seemed normal and I had just stared at them yesterday, wishing there was a way to go back.  I kept thinking to myself, there must have been something that Doug and I did to cause this and wondering what it is/was...do we need to worry about our other kids?  We have asked this question to the doctors and they also start with well statistics/rates show...yea well we know about those.

Today is my stepdaughter, Elyssa's 10th birthday.  Lots of birthdays this month...my half brother has a birthday and then Emily's birthday is May 30th.  We really want to make this a very special day for her.  Our hopes is that she is home and not at the hospital or even have to be close to one.  We are working on an auction to get funds together for a swingset and our hopes is to have a nice wooden playset up by May 30th that all the girls can enjoy and something for Emily to really enjoy. 

Monday we head back for counts check and to see where she is.  Initially she did really well with this round, and we didn't stay as long as we thought in the hospital which was great, but she really isn't up to anything or feeling good.  I must apologize, but we are going to be rather anal about germs and everything else.  But 9 days in the hospital is for the birds, and if we can stop that from happening, it would be nice.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day.  I am just happy we are all home and to be home with my girls and the hubby.  Enjoy your day mommies and remember just hold your babies tight and kiss them as many time as you can.  :)

Please make sure you all leave lots of love, thoughts and care for Ronan and his parents, because they really need it right now.

Good Night.